“If you never make a mistake, you’ll never make anything!”

In coaching, my inputs are wide and varied. They include the wisdom of my uncle, a builder who employed me as a 16 year old, and who taught me the value of mistakes..

You learn a lot on building sites. I loved it. Not only did it teach me craft skills that I still use to this day, but I was in the company of adults and was also being treated like one.

And I made a lot of mistakes. My quick witted and funny uncle always treated them with forthright sensitivity: “It doesn’t matter what the last worker did, just do your job properly” and “never mind, if you never make a mistake you’ll never make anything!”

With the first one – it keeps me in check, it doesn’t matter if what has gone before me is below par, maintain my standards.

With the second, when exploring people’s ingrained opinions of themselves and their self-limiting beliefs its not unusual to find them to be rooted in past mistakes. Things can become difficult if people are unable to let go of this mindset.

The key is to view everything as a learning experience, no matter how big the mistake .

When digging deeper into the perspective of my clients I often ask, “what did you learn?” “what would you have liked to have done differently?” and “what could be the best possible outcome if you were faced with that situation again?”

I even use a variety of my uncle’s sayings to help normalise the coachee’s viewpoint - it doesn’t just happen to them.

That’s not the only advantage of an amusing or memorable phrase. It also acknowledges the previous situation, allows forgiveness and opens the mind to new possibilities – they may face the scenario again, yet next time they can deal with it more successfully.

I draw upon a huge amount of coaching expertise, from academics and practising coaches but many of my clients find my uncle’s old sayings most memorable and useful, they come from real life after all.

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